WHAT'S A PARAPROSDOKIAN?

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. Enjoy!

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.


We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.


War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.


I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way; so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.


To steal an idea from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.


How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.


Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put " A DOCTOR."


I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some goodideas!


Some cause happiness wherever they go.. Others, whenever they go.


I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.


You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.


Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Computer Meltdown! How My Life Has Changed!

Putting all your eggs in one basket is not a good idea, they say.  Luckily for me, I've always heeded that advice, so when my computer's hard drive died on December 30th, I didn't panic too much!  Just a little.  I knew we had a Back Up plan.  Thankfully and though I had to buy a new computer on New Year's Day, my files were rescued.  (For a few horrible minutes, I was told everything was corrupted)  

Being without a computer for those few days made me realize how heavily I depend on it -- for almost everything.   My writing, for one-- and my current contracted work in progress.  My calendar is loaded in there, all my yahoo groups, my photos and just about everything else.  

It really made me think about how times have changed over the past ten years.  We are in the digital, electronic age, to be sure.  Though, it was inconvenient not to have use of a computer (my hubby's iPhone helped me view my emails, at least), I found I had more time for myself.  I was more social in PERSON. I made phone calls (remember those before Facebook, Twitter and Texts?)   I saw my neighbors.  I read more. 

But you can't stop progess.  It seems we are heading for even more DIGITAL dependence.  I don't know where it'll end.  The world is embarking on newer technology all the time, ie: the latest device being the Sling Box.   Access to your computer from anywhere!  Wowee.  Do we really want to go there?

I consider myself lucky, though having to buy a new tower was an unexpected expense, my entire computer life didn't die when the hard drive did.  So, now I will save my work on all devices known to man, a Flash Drive, a secondary Hard Drive, and a Disk as well as sending my work out into cyber space to be retrieved whenever I need. 

Yes, life has changed.  
Happy 2011 everyone!!