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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Wedding Funnies from the Mother of the Bride

Thanks to my friend Mark for sending this along.

We're counting down!

11 Days to go for my daughter's wedding.





A Man's Perfect Wedding

If Men Were in Charge of Weddings
There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal Dinner."
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops.
They would have NO tan lines.
Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others" part.
The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car.

Better yet, a Harley!
Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.
Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.
Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.
The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her butt.
Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.
No one would bother with that "Veil Routine." But they would insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.
The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or something.
Invitations would read as follows:
Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the ol' ball and chain... He's getting married. He either: A) knocked her up, B) couldn't get a different roommate, or C) caved in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him For the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line At Half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at The Clubhouse after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza. Oh yeah... B.Y.O.B




Thank Goodness Men Don't Plan Weddings!!

Heads Up! A Fun Week Ahead!


It Anniversary Week at Petticoats and Pistols.

Stop by all week long. We're having fun, playing games and giving away a whole wagonload of prizes!!


Friday, September 26, 2008

Blogging At Petticoats Today!


And giving away a really nice little prize. Post a comment there and you're automatically entered! Hope you stop by to say hello and see what I have say about Western Myths!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do Not Disturb Until Christmas! Top Pick!



I'm thrilled to announce that Do Not Disturb Until Christmas is Romantic Times Magazine's Top Pick for November!
4 1/2 STARS *****


The book is available for pre-order now on Amazon.
I hope you enjoy this sneak peek excerpt:


The scent of hot, fresh coffee called to him from the kitchen of his penthouse suite in the Tempest Hotel, New Orleans. Code Landon walked over to the coffeemaker and poured himself a mug. Thick, mudlike brew, just the way he liked it, slid down his throat, warming him instantly from the cold Louisiana day. He strolled over to the long L-shaped sofa and sat down. Sipping coffee, he picked up the television remote and hit the power button. The wide-screen bleeped on, bringing bright hues to Code's parlor and lighting up the room. He channel surfed, put his boots up on the coffee table and leaned back.

Sarah Rose's face appeared on the screen, fifty-two inches of green eyes, soft features and auburn curls. Code took a sharp breath. His heart pounded. He whipped his boots off the table and sat ramrod straight, listening to Sarah's interview.

"My work for the Dream Foundation is very important to me. I'm thrilled to be here in New Orleans and thank the people at Tempest for allowing me the opportunity. This is a great city. We want everyone to work together to rebuild homes for the most needy. No child should be without shelter and a place to call home."

The female interviewer stood beside Sarah, holding the microphone very close to her face. "You're a country superstar now, but you came from humble beginnings, I understand. Is that what drives your charitable work?"

"Yes, I think so. My mother was left with three children to raise and a houseful of bills. I remember that terrible fear as a young girl, thinking we might lose our home any day. No child should live with those frightening thoughts. And because of a natural catastrophe, many people here have already lost their homes. They need our help."

Sarah took it all in stride. She'd been in the limelight most of her adult life. She could handle the press, Code thought. She'd been through a scandal or two earlier in her career. Linked to playboys and

athletes, the rumor mills had churned and churned about love triangles and breakups until Code couldn't take hearing about it any more. He'd turn the television off at the mention of Sarah's name. He'd read headlines in tabloids until he learned to ignore them. He'd managed to block out the public Sarah Rose from his mind for the most part, but it was the private girl that he remembered—that had stayed with him all these years.

They'd been deeply in love in high school. He thought he'd found the girl of his dreams, the one and only girl he'd ever want. God, he'd loved her like no tomorrow. But Sarah had plans that didn't include him. She wanted out of Barker, Texas, at all costs. And when the first opportunity had come, she'd packed her bags and left her hometown, leaving him high and dry and completely heartbroken.

It wasn't too long after that Sarah became America's newest female country-western artist, a woman whose concerts earned her big bucks. She raised money for charity. She had small movie roles. She got just what she'd wanted in life.

Code had never gotten over Sarah—the way he'd loved her so deeply and how she'd betrayed him for her career. It had taken him years to figure out that he couldn't move on with his life until he purged her from his system. But he wanted more than that now.

He wanted revenge.

He'd tracked her down at Tempest West in Arizona weeks ago and seduced her. They'd had a brief fling, and Code wanted it to end there and then, but he was drawn to Sarah in ways he couldn't name. He wasn't through with her yet.

His company, Landon Security Agency, had a contract with Tempest Hotels. The timing was perfect; while Sarah was performing here, he would oversee his team's work revamping the hotel's security system. Brock Tyler, owner of the hotel and Code's best friend, had seen clear through his guise but Code didn't care what anyone thought at this point. He had aright to insinuate himself into Sarah's life.

She owed him, and the payback would be sweet.

"Damn it," he said, pushing the power button off. He got up from the sofa, wondering what the hell he'd been waiting for, a personal invitation from Sarah to resume the fling they'd started in Arizona?

Code showered and changed into an Yves Saint Laurent jacket and black trousers, and slipped his feet into calfskin Ferragamo shoes. A quick comb to his thick hair kept the locks from falling onto his forehead, and a pat of cologne finished off his grooming. Satisfied with the cleaned-up version of Code Landon, he strode out the front door with one thing on his mind. Getting back at Sarah Rose for all the heartache she'd caused him.

* * *

"C-Code? W-what are you doing here?" Stunned, Sarah leaned against the doorjamb of her penthouse suite, facing Code Landon. He was the last person she thought she'd see in New Orleans, much less standing at her door. She'd expected room service, for heaven's sake.

She continued to stare as an unwelcome flash of warmth surged through her system. She battled not to let his sudden appearance and those piercing, dark-blue eyes get to her. Wearing black from head to toe in expensive attire, he was as devilishly handsome as they come. But seeing him dressed like a man of success and power was a good reminder of how much he'd changed since they'd known each other in their younger days.

One side of his mouth cocked up in a slight smile. "If I didn't know better, I'd guess you didn't want me here."

She didn't. She thought they'd put their feelings to rest in Arizona. They'd made tender and tumultuous love, a culmination of years of wondering, yearning and heartache. It had been bittersweet yet wonderful, and all Sarah had hoped for when she'd dreamt of making love to Code.

But why was he here now?

She couldn't deal with the myriad emotions swirling through her stomach seeing Code again.

She'd been keeping a hectic pace with interviews, rehearsals and touring the ninth ward, or as the locals called it, the Mighty Nine, and all of it led to the place Sarah wanted to help the most, the area desolated by Hurricane Katrina. Seeing the city's destruction firsthand had put her in a melancholy mood lately. She needed to keep her focus and raise as much money as she could. Code's appearance today could only complicate matters.

"I'm…sorry. My mama taught me better manners. But I am surprised to see you here. Did you want something?"

Code blinked slowly, revealing thick dark lashes and tiny lines around the corners of his eyes that appealed to her in a dozen different ways. "That's a loaded question, babe."

The endearment stayed with her as she combated her innermost feelings.

"Actually, I'm here on business," he explained finally.

"Oh."

"I came to check out your setup here. While you're on Tempest property, my company is responsible for your safety." Code glanced past her into the suite. "Are we having this conversation in your doorway?"

"No, no. Come inside," she said and allowed him entrance. As he walked past her, brushing her arm,

she caught a faint whiff of his cologne, the same musky scent that had lingered on her skin after their night between the sheets.

"I'm perfectly safe here in the hotel. My manager takes me wherever I need to go, and if I leave the premises, I have a bodyguard."

"You were attacked while up on stage in Nashville."

He turned to her just as blood drained from her face. She couldn't conceal her discomfort, the memory never far from her mind. A crazed fan had jumped on stage and rushed at her with such force that he'd knocked her down. She'd been startled and frightened, and she'd never forget that one moment when the man had been upon her. She still recalled his insane rumblings in her ear.

A security officer had apprehended the fan and taken him away, but it was Robert, her manager, who had calmed her. He'd cosseted and comforted her, making sure she hadn't been injured in any way. For all his flaws, Robert had come through then, protecting her and giving her the option to cancel the rest of the show. She'd never forget his concern and compassion. After an hour of his soothing talk, she'd made the decision to continue with her performance, and the fans had greeted her with warmth and kindness, giving her a standing ovation at the end.

"How did you hear about that?"

Code cocked a corner of his mouth upward.

"Who didn't hear about it? You made headlines. The whole incident landed on YouTube. Besides, it's my job to know these things."

"It's your job?" He made it seem as though he was worried about future employment when they both knew that his company branched out to every corner of the country. She'd read about him on the Internet and in High Tech Today. The magazine article depicted the Landon Security Agency as the fastest growing, most innovative company of its kind. He and his father had developed some new type of sensor device that they'd patented and sold to the government for millions.

He wasn't a mere bodyguard. Far from it, yet he'd come from humble beginnings, too. He'd taken the lead fromhis father's military training and learned the security business from the ground up. His life had followed the American Dream to the letter just as much as hers had, maybe more. Her talent was a gift, not a honed skill born of hard work and gritty perseverance.

"I find that hard to believe, Code."

"I'm doing Brock a favor, Sarah. He asked me to oversee things while I'm here. And you're the big draw to the hotel during the holiday season. I'm just making sure his interests are secure."

Sarah didn't believe him, but there wasn't much she could do about it other than throw him out of her suite.

"Okay, do what needs doing." She wanted to add, then leave.

But Sarah didn't really want Code to leave. That was the problem. In her heart of hearts, she wanted Code Landon to stay. There was so much heartache between them. Sarah had run off to pursue her career, abandoning him and their love.

*** A New Suite Secrets Contest is coming soon!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Gotta Love a Talent Contest!



Do you watch America's Got Talent?

I have to admit, that during the dry TV season of summer reruns, I found this show to be quite entertaining. Some of the early acts are really silly, but when they narrow it down to the top twenty, I'm hooked.

I really loved last year's winner, Terry Fator. He's a ventriloquist extraordinaire! I'd love to see him perform live in a show ... and might if he comes to California. He does amazing performances, sings like a real pro, reaching high notes with his adorable and lovable "dummies" as they were called in Howdy Dowdy days.
This time around, I have a real favorite. Someone who Sharon Osbourne admits gives her goosebumps when he sings. It's Neal Boyd. He has a true gift, something you can't be taught. I really believe some people are put on this earth to sing. It's their calling. That's how I feel about Neal. He's has a Pavorotti type voice, maybe a little more raw, but when he belts out his deep baritone notes, I too, get goose bumpy!

He's also someone I don't think Piers, (the Simon Cowell of the show, complete with British accent) has never X'ed during a performance.

Also among my favorites is another singer, a man with a great voice and appeal, but I'm not sure he's a winner. Donald Braswell. And then there's sweet little Kaitlyn Maher, a four year old who never misses a beat.







This pic is not the greatest, but trust me, she is soooo cute!
Do you watch the show? How does it measure up to the other talent shows? Actually, if I had to rate them this is how my taste goes.
Dancing with the Stars
American Idol
America's Got Talent
Even though AGT was the least favorite, I still find it entertaining! I haven't watched tonight to see who got booted off. Don't tell me, I'm going to watch my DVR now!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Congratulations ... We have A Winner of the Suite Secrets Contest!

It's Jennifer The Forgetful Faerie Queen!

Congratulations!
Your name was drawn at random for the Suite Secrets Prizes!

Please contact me at charlenesands@hotmail.com with your name and address. I'll be mailing off your prizes asap!

Thanks to everyone who entered! I loved all your hotel stories. Be sure to check back. I'll be posting a new contest very soon.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Such a Bargain .... Billionaires from your favorite authors!





Both The Corporate Raider's Revenge and Five-Star Cowboy are included in this special Harlequin promotion. Half price books from some of the best authors around! Desires, Presents, Romance and more!


Check it out quick at Eharlequin!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Suite Secrets Grand Prize Contest Ending Monday

Please check back on Monday to see if you're our Grand Prize winner. Special thanks to all of you who entered those marvelous hotel stories.

I hope you enjoy Five-Star Cowboy and look for Code Landon's book coming November in
Do Not Disturb Until Christmas!

Join me today at Petticoats and Pistols!


You could win this out of print and
hard to find book!


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Do You Think They Know They Aren't Supposed to Like Each Other?


Special thanks to Carol C for sending these. Aren't they precious pictures?
I couldn't resist sharing them!
Enjoy and remember to check back on Monday when I announce the winner of my Suite Secrets Contest.
There's still time to enter!

































































Thursday, September 04, 2008

Top Ten Movies -- What have you seen?


Top 10 Box Office Winners for this week:

Tropic Thunder

Babylon A.D.

The Dark Knight

The House Bunny

Traitor

Death Race

Disaster Movie

Mamma Mia!

Pineapple Express

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
I saw Tropic Thunder last week. If you like irreverent, then you'll love this movie. Nothing is sacred and at times, I cringed. I thought it would funnier, but I did enjoy seeing Robert Downey Jr perform. Jack Black's character was way over the top!
I liked Dark Knight - but I'm a big Batman fan. I think the last two Batmans have been fabulous, though it was hard to watch Heath Ledger, knowing the sad circumstances of his death.
I liked Momma Mia too. Definitely a chick flick, though my husband did see it with me, and fairly enjoyed it.
That's all for me. I haven't seen too many summer movies this year, have you?

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Two More Picks from Suite Secrets Hotel Stories!


(A view of Napa Valley Vineyards - inspiration for my next set of stories!)
Suite Secrets Pick:
It was a toss up, so both are getting an autographed book!

DeeCee
and
Dina
Please email me at charlenesands@hotmail.com
for your choice of books from my backlist!

Thanks for all who are commenting and posting stories. Each and every one of you has a chance for the random drawing this month for the Victoria Secret Gift Card and a Suite Surprise gift!

Keep those stories coming!