A LITTLE BIT NAUGHTY BUT VERY FUNNY...

Subject: WHY PEOPLE DON'T ATTEND CLASS REUNIONS



Jan, Sue and Donna haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.


Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.


Then Donna walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.


Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.


Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida.


Donna explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.


Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.


Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Donna admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.



A Romance Novel Funny... will make you smile!

 Updated Version - 2011

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.


Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.


He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear.


"Just relax."


Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat.


I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.


And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.


Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine to my panties.


Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking 'No' for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . ..


"Okay ma'am, you can board your flight now." !


Special thanks to wonderful  author Tanya Hanson for passing on this funny.
You can find her at
http://www.tanyahanson.net/

A Morning Funny - Guaranteed to make you smile!!

Living in 2009



YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1.. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.

Special thanks to my friend Sandy for sending this along!

A Monday Morning Funny-- Contest Continues

Men Are Just Happier People

(For women who love and write about men- for men who want to smile this morning)

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a waterpark. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

Random Drawing! Which one of these do you agree or disagree with most? Do you have another one to add to the list? Your post will enter you into my last weekly August Blog contest. You'll win a free autographed book from my list of available titles and Harlequin/Silhouette Coupons worth $5.00. Good luck!