Church Bulletin Funnies... Couldn't Pass These Up!

Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

If you love Jay Leno's Monday night Headlines, then you'll enjoy these!

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ~~~~~~

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." ~~~~~~

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. ~~~~~~

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ~~~~~~

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. ~~~~~~

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. ~~~~~~

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. ~~~~~~

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. ~~~~~~

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. ~~~~~~

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. ~~~~~~

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." ~~~~~~

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ~~~~~~

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. ~~~~~~

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. ~~~~~~

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. ~~~~~~

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. ~~~~~~

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. ~~~~~~

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. ~~~~~~

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. ~~~~~~

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. ~~~~~~

Do You Kindle?

I just found out that my Cobblestone Press book, is available on Amazon and Kindle! So what is a kindle. See below. It's handheld, but much easier to read than some of the other types of ereaders. There's some fascinating facts below about Kindle.

As you can see it looks like real paper instead of a screen. Almost all Harlequin/Silhouette books are also available in this format.

From Wikipedia:

Amazon Kindle is an electronic book (e-book) computer appliance launched in the United States by Amazon.com in November 2007. It uses an electronic paper display, reads the proprietary Kindle (AZW) format, and downloads content over Amazon Whispernet, which uses the Sprint EVDO network. The Kindle can be used stand alone without a computer. Whispernet is accessible through Kindle without any fee

.[1] Amazon does not sell the Kindle outside the United States as Whispernet only works in the U.S.

[2] On the release day, the Kindle Store had more than 88,000 digital titles available for download, but that number has steadily increased.

[3][4] Amazon's first offering of the Kindle sold out in five and a half hours[5] and the device remained out of stock until late April 2008.

[6] At launch, the device retailed for $399; Amazon subsequently lowered the price to $359.

How many of you use a Kindle? I think it's becoming more and more popular! You can download books you want to read in mere seconds. The technology is mind-bloggling.

Happy Birthday, USA!

Wishing everyone a very safe and happy Fourth of July!

God Bless America!

New Cell Phone Laws in California

I'm all for the Cell Phone Laws! I think it's about time. I'm a cell phone user and I DO use my phone while driving, only when necessary. But this law will make the roads safer for everyone. And it forces me and everyone else to really pay attention to driving.

The law went into effect on Monday, July 1st here in California and I'm happy to say that I haven't seen one person breaking that law! Both hands are on the wheel.

I have been shopping for a speaker phone from Bluetooth, but guess what? They are all sold out. My sister bought hers months ago, so she's all set and she showed me yesterday how easy they are to use. It's on my To Do List. But in the meantime, I won't be driving and dialing!

Here's some info:

Many states now have a ban on using a hand-held device while driving. These states include:

California (effective 7/2008)

Connecticutt

District of Columbia

New Jersey

Virgin Islands

Washington (effective 7/2008)
Parts of Illinois, Mass, Michigan, New Mexico, Ohio and Penn.

Violaters are fined between $20 and $500. While it is highly advised that you reduce distractions when driving, it is still possible to tak on a phone when really needed through a hands-free headset. There are two types of headsets that can be used while driving 1) wired 2) wireless (Bluetooth)

Primary - An officer can pull you over just for using a hand-held device while driving.

Secondary - An officer can ticket you for use of hand-held device while driving only if you are pulled over for another traffic violation.

Drive Safe, Be Happy!

Must Love Handbags!!

Isn't this a great cover? It's my friend, Dorothy Howell's first mystery series starting with Handbags and Homicide available now!

You won't want to miss it! Dorothy, aka Judith Stacey with Harlequin, writes with humor and always gives the reader a satisfying ending. And better yet, if you visit her site you can enter her wonderful contest.

She's giving away a gorgeous, new Coach Handbag to the winner.
Imagine that! Click on Handbags!

Here's a little about the story:
When Haley Randolph's passion for designer purses outlasts her credit cards, her life goes from glam to grim as she's forced to work at a mid-market department store. There she finds the ultimate fashion victim--
face-down in lingerie, stone-cold dead. Haley must find a killer with impeccable taste... before time runs out!

http://www.dorothyhowellnovels.com/

I know you'll enjoy!!

What I'm Reading!

It's June and that means a new Stephanie Plum adventure by Janet Evanovich. It's Fearless Fourteen this year!

I'm hooked. I love the Steph, Cupcake, Babe. I love chuckling out loud every few minutes, but mostly I love her relationships. With Lula -- what a character. Grandma Mazur, I didn't have a grandmom like her, that's for sure!

I love Stephanie's relationship with the ever dangerous Ranger. But mostly, I love a good romance and that means sexy, lovable, gorgeous Joe Morelli! It's always been Joe for me.

Sometimes, after 14 books in a series, the stories can seem redundant, the character's growth might seem mimimal and the relationships can get dull. I've read some negative reviews, but Fearless is #10 on Amazon right now, and that means that LOTS of readers enjoy her books still.

Me included.

I wait patiently each summer, for the release of another installment in the Stephanie Plum chronicles. What about you? Are you a fan and if not, have I sparked your interest?

It's my turn to blog on Friday, June 27th at Petticoats.

I have a fun prize for commentors! I hope to see you there!

Summer Replacement Shows

As many of you know, I love country music. I'm a big fan of groups like Rascal Flatts and Brooks and Dunn. My favorite artists are Tim McGraw, Josh Turner, Faith, Martina, Toby Keith and Carrie Underwood. So for me, I love seeing the new young talent make their way on stage.

I can't really say I LOVE the judges though. I find them self indulgent at times on this show. But overall, for a summer replacement, when there's virtually nothing else on television, I find this show really refreshing and enjoyable. Billy Ray does a decent job of anchoring the show.



Okay, so I like Joey Fatone. Ever since I saw him on Dancing With Stars, I thought he was a great personality. I still do. But I watched this show last night, honestly, because I was tired and lazy and just didn't want to bother seeing what else was on. (I tend to veg after 8PM, because my eyes get so tired working on the computer all day - gone are the days of me writing until 2 AM, but that's an entirely different blog!)

I digress. I watched this show grudgingly and with reluctance. I thought it was a foolish premise. Who are these supposed "stars" anyway? Other than the Olympians, I didn't know them all to well. And why would anyone want to tackle circus antics? I guess when your expectations are low, you can be pleasantly surprised. Because I WAS. I enjoyed this show. I'm amazed at the depth of training and the precision in which they perform very dangerous circus acts. I loved the silks. A beautiful form of expression! And I enjoyed watching Antonio Saboto strain his muscles in his act. I have to say ... this was premise I didn't think I'd like, but then the kid in me said, CIRCUS and it was really intriguing to see how circus acts have changed over the years.

Next is America's Got Talent. This show is mind-boggling. They put on some weird stuff, but just like, American Idol, they only show you quick clips of the weirdos. Thankfully. I'm not a fan of people making fools of themselves. But once they get down to brass tacks, it's worth the hour of your time.

Neil Boyd, (hoping I'm getting the name right here) gave me chills. I thought, how has this man NOT been discovered yet? He's got an amazing range and depth, a true opera performer if I ever heard one. Then there's the adorable four-year-old girl who was too cute for words and had a very nice voice. Anyone X'ing her would need their head examined!

America's Got Talent got it right last year, with ventriloquist Terry Fator. This man's truly the real thing. I voted for him last year. He reminded me of the Howdy Dowdy Show, Paul Winchell and Sheri Lewis and Lambchop combined! It's an art that I hope is resurrected now that Terry has made a name for himself.

Neil Boyd



Terry Fator

So aside from some snarky judging, I have to say these reality shows in the form of variety shows are pretty entertaining. For me, I still rather see Lost, Desperate Housewives and Medium, but for summer replacement shows, they aren't bad.

Car Jokes to Make Us Smile

In this day and age when there's nothing fun to speak about when it comes to cars and fuel, here's a few jokes that remind us that it's not ALL about gas prices! I hope you laugh like I did! Enjoy!

30 Days and 30 Knights of Harlequin Historicals

It's Harlequin all month long and you'll find some amazing authors with stories to tell and giveaways. You won't want to miss it!

Join me all in a special blog for The Good, The Bad and the Unread today. I'll be speaking about why I love writing westerns and the western hero . I'll be giving away an autographed book!

Tomorrow (Friday) check out my office space and my sources of inspiration in my I Feel The Love blog at
Petticoats and Pistols!

Fresh Pick From Fresh Fiction!

I'm thrilled to say that Western Weddings is today's Fresh Pick book at Fresh Fiction. Check out this fabulous site! I'll be running contests and doing a blog at Fresh Fiction soon! I'll keep you posted!!

Deseo means Desire!!

I have a June Release! It's a Spanish Deseo. Find it on Eharlequin this month as well as Amazon!

Negocios de placer by Charlene Sands Qué era más grande, su sed de venganza o el deseo que sentía por ella?El millonario empresario hotelero Evan Tyler no se detendría ante nada hasta conseguir vengarse. Por eso, cuando surgió la oportunidad de seducir a Elena Royal, hija de su principal rival, Evan no se lo pensó dos veces. No sólo tenía intención de sonsacarle todos los secretos de su familia mediante la seducción, sino que pretendía disfrutar al máximo cada segundo que pasara con ella.Pero cuando la aventura llegó a su fin, Evan se vio obligado a elegir entre la venganza y el placer. Encontraría el modo de conseguir ambas cosas?
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Check Out My New Banner!

Here's my new banner for Five-Star Cowboy! What do you think? The Suite Secrets Series begins this August, but you can get it early from Eharlequin in July!



Be sure to enter my Five-Star Cowboy Contest today!

MILLION DOLLAR PASSWORD

I love game shows. I like the ones you can play along, but I also just love to watch and be entertained. For years, I've watched all sorts of games shows. The older ones, What's My Line and the Match Game. I remember watching Price Is Right with my grandmother on her rabbit ears television set.

And along the way, some great shows have come and gone. Hollywood Squares and The Ten Thousand Dollar Pyramid along with the Dating Game and the Newlywed game.

Now, Password has been resurrected once again. And I couldn't be happier. Though it's a Million Dollar version nowadays, which seems to be the eye-catcher. What's a game show, unless they give away a Million, right? Just last night Drew Carey gave away one million to a contestant on the Price Is Right, where poor old Howie Mandel, can't give away a million on Deal or No Deal to save his life. It's just not happening!

I watched the new Password with Regis Philbin the other night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Regis is a wonderful game host. It helps to have savvy contestants and smart celebrities. Rachel Ray is one of my favorites, and Dougey Houser, has all grown up! He was great with his contestant. Did they give away a million? No? And I fear the road to one million is hard to achieve. They don't make it easy!

How many of you remember the original password with Allen Ludden? It was shown in the 60's I beleive. It's a game that never dies. In 1979 it was resurrected at Password Plus and in 1989 again as, Super Password. It's a game show with sticking power!

Password has had some of the biggest names in show business. Here is Betty White - Allen Ludden's wife, btw. She was an original and since has done countless other game shows. Do you remember her?
Do you love games shows? Which are your favorites?

Juno ... the Movie

Was it ever explained why her parents named her Juno? I don't know, but I do remember her father calling her June Bug. That's cute.

It's a good thing we didn't rent this movie. There are rentals and then there are borrowed movies. We borrowed this movie from our son. I'm not saying I didn't like the movie, but I guess my expectations were very high. The actress played by Ellen Page got rave reviews and was nominated for an Academy Award. I expected Meryl Streep I guess.

Word of mouth is priceless and I heard nothing but great things about the movie. My daughter loved it. My friend loved it. Many people I know saw it on the big screen when the movie first came out and loved it.

The movie was different, unique in ways I can't describe, but it did remind me of the humor of The Office - another show that the critics and millions of people adore ... that I don't "get". I've tried. Oh, how I've tried. I want to fit in and say, "Yeah, I love The Office ... it's sooo funny." But I can't. I don't find it entertaining.




Getting back to Juno. I'll watch and enjoy a variety of movies because as a writer, I'm always learning. I study people. I study characters. To find their motivation. To see how they tick. So, in that regard I liked Juno. There were some funny moments. The writing was very good. I learned something from watching it and that's always a positive.




Juno was nominated as Best Picture along with 3 other Oscar noms and has been labeled, "A fresh, unusually intelligent comedy."

So there it is. I should have liked it more. I should have loved it!

But did I love Juno? No. Not even close. Like I said, it was engaging. I was mildly entertained. I observed and learned a little. But, I didn't "get" it. Aside from great acting on young Ellen Page's part, it was okay. Not my cup of tea, as they say. Maybe it was the mood I was in, but I don't really think so.

So, what about you? Have you ever expected to enjoy a movie or a book because your expectations were so high, only to be disappointed. What didn't you "get" that others did?

Covers, Covers and More Covers!

Have I got your attention?

When I wrote the Suite Secrets Series for Desire, I envisioned what my hero characters would look like. Trent Tyler in Five-tar Cowboy is more rugged than most of the wealthy tycoons you might expect. He has a deep love of the land, respects animals and loves winning. He's tall, dark and handsome, but he's also clever and smart as a whip. I searched and searched until I found a man that would fit the bill.

What do you think? Pretty handsome and rugged and a millionaire to boot! In my mind, maybe Trent had a less cleanly shaven face with some scruffiness on his very sharp features.

But the cover gods, had a different Trent Tyler in mind. They chose to show his millionaire status and I'm not disappointed. I like a man who wears a tux and a Stetson so well.

It just goes to show that the author's concept and the artist's concept of the character can be miles apart. I've been happy with my covers thus far, so no complaints out of me. I do a 6 page Art Fact Sheet explaining the story, concepts, theme and finally physical characteristics of my main characters.

Here's who I've picked for the next two books in the series. You may recognize them!

Cody Landon in Do Not Disturb Until Christmas:

Brock Tyler in Reserved for the Tycoon:

Okay, so I have lofty aspirations for my covers, but these guys do fit the character so well. Guess we'll just have to wait and see what the cover gods have in mind!

Visit me today at Petticoats and Pistols. Take a walk down Memory Lane and you may win a copy of my May anthology, Western Weddings!

Hope to see you there!

I love Idol ... I admit it!

There isn't anything I don't like about the final ten weeks of American Idol. It's pure and simple entertainment. It's Star Search and Ed Sullivan all wrapped up and tied with a pretty bow.



Last night I was in Idol Heaven. I sat with my eyes glued to the set, much to my company's groans. (My kids 25 and 30 are NOT fans) After dinner, I made the announcement. Didn't matter that the Laker play-off game was on, we were going to sit down with cake batter, expresso and peanut butter flavored frozen yogurt and watch the entire show! My bribe worked, but the comments I endured would be considered cruel and unusual punishment by most civilized countries.










Despite their claims to "cheesy singing acts by the top ten", "bad staging", trying to figure out if the Guru was really in the scene with David and David, and Ryan being a Dork - all sacrilege to me, my family sat with me and watched the two hours while I relished every second!



I loved Carrie Underwood's performance. I'm an avid country music fan!

I loved Gladys Knights and her New Pips - Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. It was a real hoot!!


I loved it when Ryan almost fell off the Guru carpet ride!

I liked seeing the judges dressed up, smiling and nice to everyone! Simon even made an apology of sorts to Cook.

Even though I was an Archuleta fan, I thought the votes came in as they should have. David Cook, a little more mature, a little more entertaining and a teensy bit more talented, deserved the Idol Crown.

All in all, a great season of Idols.


I won't be there in January to watch the lunatics try to impress the judges. I know those first few weeks are popular, but watching them reminds me how many delusional people live in this world. But when the wannabes come to Hollywood, I'm so there!

Five Star Cowboy Contest!

The Contest Begins...

Be sure to enter my brand new Five-Star Cowboy contest on my contest page! And as an added bonus, you'll win an advance copy of August's Five-Star Cowboy, the first in the Suite Secrets Series from Silhouette Desire!

Contest ends July 15th!

Bookseller's Best Award Contest!

I'm pleased to announce that I finaled in the Greater Detroit Chapter's Bookseller's Best Contest. Actually, I'm a Double Finalist, for Bodine's Bounty and Fortune's Vengeful Groom!
Awards to be given out in San Francisco during our Romance Writer's of America Conference.


All judges are booksellers or librarians!




These are the 2007
Award winners!

Hi all,

I'm guest blogging today (Friday) about Starting Your Story in the Right Place! Come visit me at Seekerville!

And just for your trouble, I'll give you a sneak peek of my newest Desire to be released in August.

Pretty cool cowboy ... don't you think?

Have a Cup At Coffee Time with Me!

Come visit me and sit down for a hot sizzling brew. You might even win something. Six of us Fillies from Petticoats and Pistols will be chatting and giving away prizes! Let's have COFFEE!

This from Harlequin today:

Whichever way you cut it, cowboys are sexy. They have rugged good looks, charismatic charm and best of all, they look great in a well-worn pair of jeans! Rustle up some cowboy books below, including stories by Diana Palmer, our steamy SPICE read Caine's Reckoning and many more! We'll lasso $10 off your order when you spend $35 or more! Plus, you'll automatically qualify for FREE shipping.*

If you'd like to read an excerpt of Springville Wife from our Western Weddings anthology, go to The Good, The Bad and the Unread! I hope you enjoy!!

And congratulations to Susan Sestak for Winning my Spring Contest!

Prizes are on the way!!